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Slippyfish

PS4 DLC Giveaway !! CONTEST IS OVER

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Where to start? 30 odd years of memories.

Back in my teens myself and a friend would often night fish for carp and share a bivvy ( tent ). He was a demon for the amount of bowel movements he had, and for the constant lack of toilet paper.

Remember that pile of Triceratops poo in Jurassic Park? I swear he could get close to that after a few days on the bank..

He actually ran out of socks one summer due to using them as substitutes, his mother couldn't figure out why and we couldn't tell her.

Anyway...one night on a 3 or 4 day session, no toilet roll, no leaves available, all his socks gone and with my socks staying firmly on my feet, my friend felt the need for yet another dump.

With absolutely nothing else available he picked up a loaf of bread from our food supplies and proceeded to wipe his butt with slices of bread. I was too busy laughing to ever enquire if it worked satisfactorily, I was laughing even harder when the rats started running around with the bread in the dark.

And that is Gods Honest truth. He also ran out of woollen gloves in Autumn and Winter. I lost track many years ago now unfortunately, but I suspect his toilet paper bill is significantly more than ours..

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Recently started started fly fishing with my friends who have been fishing a while. We traveled up to are local reservoir (burrator Devon UK) started fishing about 3 I said to mates what's it feel like when a fish bites.. They replied you will no when they do. I was fishing till about 8pm and nothing. All of a sudden there is a tug on the rod it makes me jump and I start shouting I have got one..  I start reeling it in and shouting it's massive after a little fight I reel it in and it is a proper tiny brown trout 😂 

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15 minutes ago, Beechy1991 said:

Recently started started fly fishing with my friends who have been fishing a while. We traveled up to are local reservoir (burrator Devon UK) started fishing about 3 I said to mates what's it feel like when a fish bites.. They replied you will no when they do. I was fishing till about 8pm and nothing. All of a sudden there is a tug on the rod it makes me jump and I start shouting I have got one..  I start reeling it in and shouting it's massive after a little fight I reel it in and it is a proper tiny brown trout 😂 

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Nothing wrong with wildies dude, a 6 incher in my local streams in South Wales is harder to catch than a 4lber in the reservoirs ;-)

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Me and my Dad went fishing one evening I was fly fishing and he was bait fishing he was getting up in yrs and could not fly fish anymore he taught me how to fly fish and I was almost as good as he used to be. So about an hour into the fishing and I have caught 5 nice trout and only needing 1 more for my limit while my Dad sat quite and watched I thinking now just 1 more nice 1, Then my Dad sneezed  and then suddenly I see what looks like a small fish jump and my Dad yell's if you so good catch that one so im thinking it prob a rock bass or sun fish ill show him this easy well I made a pretty good cast thinking the little fish will strike easy so I do not have to set the hook to hard I pulled the fly about 6 inches when it strikes and does it ever I fought that fish for almost 45 mins when I finally net this thing it was a 18 inch brown trout weighing almost 6lbs. Being very proud of myself I came up to my Dad and getting ready to rub it in when he smile at me I noticed 1 of his front teeth was missing out of his dentures I said Dad your missing a tooth he said yea when I sneezed it blew out that's the one I told you to catch.Upon returning home  I began cleaning the fish saving the big boy for last while I was gutting the big brown I notice something strange in his stomach further investigation I found my Dads tooth. So being happy for my Dad ready to rub it in I gave him his tooth and told him where i found it and im ready to rub it in when he smile's and say well I guess you are as good as fly fisherman than I am, And for sure a better dentist then me then he smiled with that one tooth missing.    

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So I take my niece fishing when she was 5-6 & though we'd been going for years, I fig'd ok she's old enough to grasp the concept of really fishing & not just aimlessly throwing a bobber & praying. So I spent all night & morning explaining the best spots to look for fish (in a pond I knew very well), well time to load up & head out, she says "I'm smart now, bet ya I catch more than you do". We get to the pond & start fishing, I immediately catch a lil small mouth bass, we continue fishing & not even 5 mins later, I land another. Well she gets irritated & says "I know why I ain't catching nothing... my hats on wrong & we are fishing on same side of the boat". She flips hat around & starts fishing toward middle of pond (instead of the bank, which 99% of the time meant 0 bites); not 2 secs after line hits the water, she hauls in 1 that's close too twice the size of my 2 combined! She says "told ya, haha", we continued fishing for the next couple hrs or so. We compare catches as we're getting ready to leave, me - 2 / her - 10, the smile on that youngin' face as she said "I was smart all along...when we get home I'll teach you how I caught them" was priceless! Smallest haul I've ever had there, yet my best fishing day ever, & that's including my 11lb 10oz bass caught at same pond. 

 
 
 
 
Edited by TC915
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I work at a carp lake in NC and I've had a lot of hilarious memories over the years while working there, but hands down the funniest moment was when, what looked to be a homeless man, came in the shack and he said he wanted to fish at our lake since he was a boy. He didn't have any bait, rods or stands so I let him use my ambassador reels and some rice I made and said "Here you can fish for free tonight(:" and he was so happy and some time passed by and I was just wondering if he was having any luck so I went to check on him and as soon as I walk out of the door my buddy tells me "There's a homeless man stealing carp out of the lake and putting them in a baby playpen and he's pushing them out of the front gate as we speak!" I hopped im the truck and took off down the road and I looked all night but I never found him or my reels. The only thing he left behind was an empty bucket of rice and a napkin that read..."Thanks for the meal" 😂😂😂😂 lmao

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Saltwater fishing with my wife one time. We were bait fishing at the jetties. I cast my line out & wait...Next thing you know, my line seems to be moving out. No strike, no nothing...just the line slowly moving away from the beach. I start reeling in & there's a decent pull back on the line, but it's coming in. I get it closer & closer...next I see something dark. I'm wondering what on earth I snagged (though that wouldn't make sense...the line was clearly moving away from the beach!). I get it up out of the water...and...it's a large, female blue crab slam full of eggs. She had the hook in one claw, holding on, while picking at the shrimp I was using for bait with the other, taking small pieces & putting them in her mouth.

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I was a great day to go fishing so, I loaded up all my gear into the back of my truck. I then drove to the Illinois River in Pike county. Started baiting my hooks one by one placing them into their designated holders. Setting my chair up I was smoking a cigarette (Marlboro Red). My son he's 7 and he starts yelling, as any parent would I swung around and my 9ft cabelas rod with an Ambassador reel was bent to the water. I ran full speed at my pole, grabbed it out of the holder, set the hook (still smoking the same cigarette) I reach up and flipped that dang cigarette out into the river but it hit my line before it hit the water. It cut through my line, the recoil of the pole come back and hit me right in the face. The lesson I learned was to not smoke around my reels while they are in the water. So I hope everyone learns something from my story because you never wanna tell the story about the one that got away.

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My fishing expierence.
Was with couple friends out fishing.
Was on this bridge, my friend had 1 small sealed plastic "can" with juwelry.
Me glumbsy unfortunately did i kick that can in the river, ( just wanted to talk with him, walked towards him and he had that can near the edge of the bridge, didnt saw it)

That can was starting to flow with the river, and we both paniced. The stream wasnt so hard but had to run sideway the river, just picked the wrong way to run.

In the muds up to knees for 2 meter, then over the fence. Hurray, animals, guess who, BULLS! yupp, those was not happy to se me. The cows between was calm but the bulls... Hell no run like crazy over next  fence. finally a bit ahead of this can, well was wet and dirty and adrenaline was pumped up, jumped in the river and took the can.
Wasnt to get the same way back.
Went the otherside, bushes, tress and nettles was ok. then onother animal pack.
Was only horses so i wasnt so scared until they started to run at me. "im afraid of horses" Specially those big ones. Jumped in the river wasnt able to get over the fence in time.
So i swam back to the fishing spot. And climbed up to the bridge.
He got his can back, the weather was warm and shiny, eveything just got better. we caught a pike later on that lake and grilled it.

 




 

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So one time I did an 8 mile float down a local river with myself, my wife and another couple we know.  We should of split this other pair up to begin with when they told us they had never canoed before but the river is pretty docile so we let them have their own canoe.  The guide told us there were 7 class 1 rapids and 1 class 2 rapid which he provided detailed instructions on how to navigate and to look for a giant rock wall along the right bank as a sign that the rapid was about 600 yards ahead.  We start on our trip and my wife and I are fishing so we basically were just floating the whole time fishing and only really paddled to line up to go through the rapids.  The other couple was paddling and had gotten a fair distance away from us.  After a couple hours we notice we are approaching a rock wall and realize that the harder rapid is coming up so we decide to paddle up to our friends to help them.  Well they were still a very far distance away and disappeared around the corner.  As we come around the corner I ask my wife, "is that Jeff in the rapid?"  Needless to say we come up on the husband somehow in the middle of the rapid and his wife is past it clinging to a flipped canoe and their gear is bobbing around everywhere in the pool below the rapid.  As we paddle up I ask Jeff if he is ok and he screams at me "NO I AM NOT OK I'M DONE!" which was hilarious since we were still miles away from our takeout so it was literally impossible to be done. Both at my warning had still worn sandals in their canoe which had been lost during the flip and he was now trying to walk through the rapid with sharp rocks on the bottom.  We paddled up to them and I took off my shoes to give to him so he could navigate easier.  I then go over to his wife and drop my wife off with her to attempt to get the canoe flipped while I paddled around and collected up their gear.  They had managed to somehow lose both their left sandals and an entire paddle which mind you all floats so these had somehow been wedged in the river bottom.  Both their legs were pretty torn up and for the rest of the trip my wife and I each rode with the other to make sure another incident didn't happen.  The owner of the canoe company was going to charge them for the lost paddle but I think after looking at their legs he took sympathy on them and did not charge them.  We now say that its the river 1 - the Newmans 0. I don't think they will ever get back in a canoe.

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Long story short. Bunch of us guy's went salmon fishing in upstate NY. I drank a liter of Jack the night before and was hungover bad the next morning(still drunk) and went to net my brother n laws monster king first thing in the AM and tripped over a rock broke his line and fell in a pocket about 9 feet deep with chest high waders in 45° weather. Lol it sucked bad!!! 

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I don't have any fishing stories as funny as some I've read here so I won't post one. However I would like to thank slippyfish for this giveaway! I think it's awesome to give people a chance to get some free dlc and we get a few laughs! Great idea and I hope to be able to participate in future giveaways. 

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I'm pleased to announce that we have a winner! I have to say it was tough because there were a lot of good stories! The winner is Captain_JJ ! Not only was the story hilarious, it was also creative and beautifully so. Thanks for all that participated! Again, lots of great stories! 

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